1 year ago
The first time I read a poem by Caitlyn Siehl, I was abruptly hit with an overwhelming sense of connection yet disparity, a fever of inspiration, and a love for the way she wound words through a page and into my ears and my chest and my brain. I fell in love hard. But, like with all celebrities, she never seemed like a real person, but something far away--a creative unicorn, mythical and mind-blowingly talented that lives on another plane of existence than me.
When I finished Blue Rooms, I sent it out to a bunch of poets and critics and writers for review. Caitlyn was one of them. It was hard to not just send an entire email waxing about how much she's affected me through her writing, but I thought to myself: Why not? The worst thing that will probably happen is she'll never see my email, it'll get lost in some slush pile, and I'll go on at least knowing that I tried. Then, as soon as I sent that email, I panicked she would see it, hate the book, and I would have to figure out how to recover from one of my creative role models disavowing my work.
A few weeks after sending out for reviews, I got a couple of wonderful responses and really kind words about the book, and I also got a lot of famous poets either ignoring me or telling me they don't have the time to read books for reviews, which is fine... And then today happened.
First of all, CAITLYN SIEHL EMAILED ME, YOU GUYS. That is enough to make my whole year. But more than that, her email was simple: Amanda, I will have your review finished by EOD tomorrow. You are talented beyond belief. Caitlyn. 😱😱😱😱😱
So, I'm just over here dying. This is happening, and I just needed to share this with you all to say nothing more than this: TRY. Just always try. I went back and forth with myself about sending my book to Caitlyn Siehl. Who am I to ask this woman to take time and make space for me? But I had to try. And it was the best GD decision ever. I'm so over the moon right now, and the process of writing, producing, and promoting Blue Rooms has taught more than I ever thought I needed to learn about courage, transparency, and connection. I'm just so grateful. 💙