6 minutes ago
*Those lifeless eyes stared back at me.* I tried to bend my lips and form the best smile I could, as I always did. The smile that betrayed many into thinking that I was the happiest soul on earth. The mirror never lies, I thought. My eyes saw right beneath the smile in the mirror and knew how much sadness my own smile had. Being lifeless and dark, my eyes still had tears. I wondered if water from my eyes will ever dry up. Why floods and not draught? But somehow, I have managed to find comfort in my tears. When they fall, I feel better. I feel like tears take my pain away with them. I find it hard to believe that I used to be a girl, happy and on her own. I am still on my own, but the former is lost somewhere. Somewhere, where I can’t see. I try to find it, but it seems to be quite good at hiding. I tried to chase it, but seems like my pace isn’t as good. And so, I gave up. I no longer run behind things. I still smile, but it is hard to figure if the smile is real or is trying to make it real. I never knew you could feel so empty, with so much going on inside you. Ironic how people remember you more when you die but not when you are alive and feeling lonely. Most depressing thing I encounter is, I can’t hide my emotions, neither can I express them. I see myself tearing up often. I try not to cry, but my strength gives up to pain and the tears roll down as if they were stuck in my eyes for too long. I hear, everyone has bad days and everyone feels down sometimes, but are the smiles I see everyday from all those over cheerful people fake? Those smiles mean so much to me, when they smile and wish me a good day. I dont want those smiles to be fake, because some days, I live for those smiles of people and their sincere greetings.
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