2 days ago
This past month has been rough. Physically I feel like I’ve been kicking ass. This is the strongest I have felt in a long ass time and I’m really proud of that. But mentally, my shit has just been OFF. And maybe it’s because I’ve been solely focusing on the physical part of me. Because let’s be real, feeling strong is an incredible feeling. It’s addicting.
In those moments in my workouts when my blood pressure is through the fucking roof and I feel like I could lift a goddamn car... I feel like literally nothing can touch me. In those moments, I am strong, I’m beautiful, I’m a badass bitch, and I feel like for once I actually have my shit together.
But that feeling doesn’t last forever.
Eventually the workout ends, and the lights come on. Blood pressure comes back down, endorphin high wears off....and I’m back to square one.
*Queue the bullshit, anxious thoughts that creep their way back in....
I start to second guess my worth, my decisions I make, and my purpose.
I’m gonna be honest, the gym is my escape. My escape from all the stress of every day life, my thoughts, and my anxiety.
There’s really not a point to any of this. But I will tell you what I’ve come to realize.
Sometimes you have to take 59292 steps back and reevaluate the fuck out of yourself.
Be vulnerable. Face your bullshit, face your fears. Hold yourself accountable for the things you have control of. Let go of the things you don’t.
#mentalhealthawarenessmonth #itsokaynottobeokay #onedayatatime #selfcare #timetoreflect #dontgetinyourownway