10 minutes ago
We have grown into the habit of focusing on the other more than on ourselves. A bad teacher may be experienced and stated as the reason as to why one’s grades are bad. Friends, social circles and self-imposed obligations may be experienced and stated as the reason as to why one can’t quit playing games, or realize his dreams. We say we don’t have enough time, but everybody truly has 24 hours a day which he is fundamentally free to fill with whatever he wants. Most of the time though, we don’t even know what we really want, or we have opposing objects of wanting as to the exclusion of each other all the while not knowing what to give up and which to prefer. At that point we are viable to be determined and influenced by our passions and aversions, by what others expect from us or by what we think others expect from us. It is an emotional-obligational carousel of attachments and aversions.
Intrinsically we would want to heed our own and highest inner call, and everybody does so in certain contexts and circumstances, however, in others not. Then, when we did not follow our inner vision and gave in to the fears of the Ego, we procede to blame the other for it and thereby hope to relief and secure our sense of who we think we are, the Ego, in Ignorance. We are reflecting the fault onto the others bad temper, his emotional unstableness, or her financial and emotional needs. While not being causally irrelevant, these are also not the base causes and reasons for our distress and divergence. Much rather, the real reason lies within us, that is, in how we perceive external conditions and circumstances, people and happenings. By focusing on what oneself could do different instead of blaming the other for being a certain way or judging a situation in a certain manner, and by remembering that the experience and perception is intrinsically decided, influenced, and constituted by us, one places responsibility and thereby the possibility to change in oneself instead of the other.
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