4 minutes ago
As a kid, I was so shy that looking a stranger in the face and speaking words — literally any words — was so horribly painful for me that often times I just started crying instead of communicating.
My dad, the earnest growth facilitator that he was, challenged me on this shyness in every typical dads-who-love-to-embarrass-their-only-daughters kind of way.
He’d always make me call to order pizza and pay the delivery dude when he got there, and whenever we’d be at the store, he’d tell me to pay, stuff money in my hands, and disappear before I could protest.
Yet once I knew you, oh all bets were off. I was like a totally different person — there was no getting me to shut up. Any excuse to celebrate, I’d sing and dance; I even made up the to-this-day legendary song “We’re Going to Have a Bonfiiiireeee” because, yep…we were building a fire in the backyard. 😂 🤷♀️
I loved to make you laugh with my stories and endlessly entertain...yet when it was time for that first encounter with a stranger, it seemed a task insurmountable.
At first, sharing my journey on social media was no different. I remember the first video I ever posted — something like only 8 months ago — took me hours to record less than 2 minutes of video. Looking the camera in the lens AND SPEAKING WORDS seemed like the scariest thing possible, and had me wracked with self-criticisms beforehand.
All I can say is that all that time I spent sitting there, waiting to be good enough to avoid failing never got me any closer to where I wanted to be. It’s been the moments in my life where I’ve done before I was ready, that continue to shape me into the woman I plan to become.
I no longer cry in cashiers’ faces or hate on myself before recording a video, yet there are still tons of things that make me so uncomfortable I want to shed tears.
If you’re experiencing any sort of discomfort in life, you’re not alone. We all go through times when we feel a little bit crazy. Keep growing, keep doing, keep on being YOU.
You look gorgeous that way 💕✨