11 days ago
This is for the men.
No, shh listen:
It's Ramadan, a beautiful time of introspection. In our vast difference between cultures and religious sects we all have one love.
The love of Allah SWT and the belief in the teachings of the Holy Prophet swa.
In his sermon he says:
وَخِيَارُكُمْ خِيَارُكُمْ لِنِسَائِهِمْ خُلُقًا
“ The Best Of You Are Those Who Are Best To Their Women.”
— Prophet Muhammad (ﷺ)
Sunan al-Tirmidhī 1162
This short quote is from a much more depth-ful explaination which explains that a man has right over his wife but she also has her rights over you as a man. You should be just in a marriage where you are communicating kindly towards each other.
I come from a culture that is patriarchal and twisted where men seem to think their anger is more meaningful and powerful. They don't know how to apologize or understand that shortcomings occur but a marriage is meant to cover the shortcomings with love, paitience, and understanding.
This is how I feel when I read the hadiths of the Holy Prophet swa, he taught us how to live our best and most just and comforted life within the realms of goodness. So this is a very important topic to me as a woman who has put up with mens ego's, anger, shortcomings and constantly look past it or I find myself apologizing for wrongs I didn't commit.
A person can mend and forget and compromise from time to time but the audacity that Muslim, especially from my personal experience Indo/Pak and Arab men have made me or someone else in my life ultimately feel voiceless.
If you have taken part in not putting your ego aside, letting your anger/your way/ your view, if it hushed another woman, you my brother have taken part in being an opressor.
It's ok though if you realised it. If you asked for forgiveness. If you worked through the issues of yourself. If you checked up on her and asked her her feelings without scolding her. If you apologized, and.didnt repeat the offense again and again. Because as a woman, explaining myself to emotionally inept people especially men who are as stubborn as I've met them is exhausting.