44 minutes ago
Day 17 dinner: pak choi, baby brussel sprouts, cherry tomatoes, blueberries and @holymolydips original guacamole 🥑. Day 17 dessert: @coconutcollab vanilla snowconut and 2 @joyofenjoy salted caramel-filled chocolate buttons 🍫. This was so yummy — especially the guac — but I think I may have to stay away from ice cream at the moment because I really am absolutely freezing. I probably wouldn’t be any warmer if I didn’t have it, but it certainly doesn’t help! I am torn between wanting to eat more because I am so hungry, so cold and my bones hurt so much everywhere I sit/lie down but also completely petrified at the idea of gaining weight. I am a little more than 2 weeks into recovery and I weigh less than when I started, and am still as irritable, obsessed with food, cold and petrified of food, stomach problems and weight gain as I was before. I know I’ve made progress. I am now comfortable with eating during the day, when before 2 weeks ago the thought was unfathomable and if I had to do it, I would have had a major anxiety attack and cried. I’m still so rigid in my rules and everything though so I feel like I haven’t made much progress. At least my stomach is finally doing better.