9 hours ago
And the guilt sinks in...that infamous mom guilt.
I kept it at bay for most of the days leading up to it, but when Chris pulled away with both kids headed towards my parents house, it all came flooding in.
Was it my own guilt that I felt? Or was it my fear of other people, other moms, judging me for leaving them when they are so young? It’s probably a bit of both, whether it’s imagined or real.
I boarded the bus all I could do was deep breaths and hold onto my gramma’s necklace I was wearing to give me strength.
On the ferry there were little kids sitting all around me, their laugh so similar to Maya’s. But it was getting easier.
As I wandered the streets of Seattle, I got a glimmer of freedom creeping in.
Making my way to the light rail, and then to the airport, the sadness was fading and the butterflies begun to fill my stomach.
After a long flight, a glass of wine, friendly flight companions, pumping milk in the bathroom at midnight, and a beautiful room at a friend’s little farmstead in surrounded by cow pastures, I felt the guilt subside.
As I jumped in the ocean this morning, I knew this is why I am here. It’s all because of THEM 🌟
So they can grow up seeing that their mama followed her passions, even in the face of doubt and adversity.
That she stood for what she believed in and wasn’t afraid to take scary steps towards her dreams.
That she cared about health and community and the planet and making it better for future generations.
I want them to see me as their mama, but also as a woman who lives adventurously, loves deeply, cares for others and pushes past her fears.
I know why I am here and it is all for them and me and our family and our future. I here to change the world.
And I know they will know that, now and someday 💓
#organicoptimist #followyourpassion #kauai #diamondinthemaking #cantstopmenow