4 hours ago
Recently, I've been spending more and more time with myself. It's strange and sometimes uncomfortable. I long for human contact, friends, and communication. I can be overwhelming with my needs for interaction, because I thrive just as much on socialization as I do on solitude.
It's been hard. Sometimes bad thoughts come in my head. I get very lonely and sad. I get agitated and exhausted. I think "nobody loves me.", "they're ignoring me on purpose.", and "I'm useless and unwanted." I get jealous and forlorn.
These feelings, I'm learning, are okay. They're natural. They're a part of me I'm slowly learning how to cope with. My past has riddled me with cracks im still discovering now, and that's just fine.
I'm spending time with myself. I'm slowly, gently, carefully finding and repairing those cracks. I'm holding myself, comforting myself, taking care of myself. I'm appreciating little things, like the comfort of my grandmother's company or the weight of my blankets. I'm trying my best not to judge others for their actions, and act with only grace and forgiveness.
Being alone, especially because it is one of my greatest fears, is hard. Its painful. But I'm growing, and I'm proud of myself.
#selflove #lonliness #trauma #healing #selfcare #selfhelp #innerbeauty #love #patience #forgiveness #grace #beingalone #blog #aesthetic #purple #memyselfandi at Alone Time