24 hours ago
When I was young, I wanted to discuss life, death and everything in between. As a teenager, I wanted to experience all things taboo. I had an urge to find out what was hiding in the dark, not to be cool, but to understand WHY. The things people didn’t want, I wanted. The things people didn’t discuss, I wanted to talk about.
I was quite the party pooper.
When I started writing poems, I found a way to let all thoughts out without people getting offended, worried or uncomfortable. When my poetry became lyrics, things really clicked. It was my one and only healthy outlet for the Pandora’s box I seemed to carry within. I knew not to open it, but the urge was great.
The few people who indulged in deep diving discussions of taboo and tainted tales were not always great people. But to be held back from what you want and need to explore for too long is a buildup that isn’t healthy, either. I needed the moments of pure ecstasy of no holds barred. It’s a wonderful but fragile state though, because in those moments, I’m intense enough to ruin everything. I risk a lot for a darkness I know nothing about. It’s never been about being cool. It’s always been about understanding more and more and more. Where we as a people have stopped venturing is exactly where we need to go. I shouldn’t have to get so intense and laser focused. Deep diving discussions shouldn’t be so taboo that I overdose because I inhale too deeply after months of drought.
As a lyricist, I still manage to satisfy most of my needs. It is a blessing to be able to write, most often in the form of lyrics. I don’t know where I would be without my ability as a lyricist. I can’t imagine where all that pent up excitement for a world barely explored would go.
I thank my lucky star I’m good at writing. It’s probably better to bleed it out on paper at the end of the day.