6 hours ago
How often do you tell yourself that you don't judge other people? And yet, the thoughts that swim through your mind at every turn are judgmental. "She can't be that short on cash if she can take that vacation." "She shouldn't need anyone to help watch her kids - she is a stay at home mom, that's her job." "What could she possibly have to complain about? Her husband seems so helpful and loving. She must not appreciate him enough." Or even passing judgment on ourselves through others' behavior: "Her kids are so well behaved. I must be doing something wrong." "I work out with her in bootcamp every day and still can't do as many pull ups as she can. What is wrong with me?" The truth is, that is only our own point of view, our perspective, built around only the things we have personally experienced. Judgment causes us to act morally superior, as if we're in a position to judge others' actions. But NO ONE knows what another person is going through. Not even when they have shared parts of their story. And people are really good at hiding the parts of themselves that bring them pain, shame, guilt, or embarrassment. - the woman who stays at home with her kids, which seems like a luxury to some, might do so because her family lives paycheck to paycheck and even if she went to work, she couldn't work a job that would pay her enough to afford childcare and still have extra left over - the mom you envy for her patience and compassion with her kids might secretly struggle with anxiety and rely on medication - the friend you think has it all - the caring husband, the big house, the well-behaved kids, the great job - has dealt with crippling loss - the woman who is nicely dressed and accessorized places high meaning on looking put together because it's all she feels she can control in her otherwise messy life - the woman who seems like she has tons of material things might just be trying to validate her worth and cover the deeper feelings of unworthiness
What do you struggle with that you don't make visible to others?
Remember that everyone has struggles, and just because someone's struggles are different than your own doesn't mean we have any right to judge.