27 minutes ago
I drew this a really long time ago. For Christmas. I bought my friend the game Nier: Automata and they barely played it. It was $50, maybe I forced it on them because I myself really wanted it, who knows. I always do stuff for other people but they will never do the same things in return. I don’t really feel like talking to any of my friends at QA, if I’m even their friend at all. No one really likes me. I try to act happy and make a fool of myself all the time, but the times I do act like myself, people hate it and think I’m an attention whore. The few times I actually open up a fraction of myself to someone, they change the topic back to themselves or barely listen to me. And it hurts. It hurts, you know? For some reason, a lot of people come to me for advice. They open up to me, and I give them the best advice I can. I don’t even ask for anyone to just spend time to listen to me, but I guess life doesn’t work that way. I overthink way too much and I’m always scared of hurting other people. I can barely talk without stammering because I’m used to my parents screaming at me to shut up, or hitting me if I didn’t end up doing it. I just want to be treated like I matter to someone, just like the way I treat other people. I always try to let other people know how appreciated they are, but they usually end up getting really uncomfortable. Maybe it’s because I’m ugly. If I was pretty, maybe people would treat me better.
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