6 days ago
🌿 You’re doing it right 🌿 (A vulnerable share about something that’s been on my heart for a while)
It seems no matter where we look, we are bombarded with the same message— you're doing it wrong. Whether it’s how you parent, use social media, engage in activism, make medicine, treat your depression, or even build your home, there is often a judgment-tipped arrow of opinion to greet you.
The internet is a brilliant thing. It makes world-wide movements, information exchange and global connection possible, but it also magnifies one of humanity's largest downfalls— our tendency to judge. In the past handful of years I've seen this crude tool, so often used as a corrective measure to “fix” our own selves, become *the* method for shaping movements.
Instead of encouraging each other's growth through recognizing our goodness and potential, our culture has gone in the opposite direction— to correct, criticize and judge as a way to force change. The essential problem being that no matter how much we try to use judgment to fix things, the presence of judgment itself nearly always inhibits growth.
Sometimes called “purity culture,” this toxic system of criticism is inherently immobilizing. In public, we walk around with increasingly tender feet. In private, we worry that we are so hopelessly incorrect, maladjusted, or misinformed that we stop striding forward. We cease having conversations. We self-edit and shut down. As social researcher Brené Brown writes, “Shame corrodes the very part of us that believes we are capable of change.” Inevitably, this feeling of “I'm doing it wrong,” leads to the sneaking suspicion that “I am wrong.” Perhaps the most destructive poison of all.
What if this doubt in our essential goodness is becoming the very malady that causes more harm?
What if... we are actually doing it right?
Check out the link in my profile for my new video “You’re doing it right” where I take a deep dive into talking about how to neutralize the poison of an overly critical culture.