This morning I woke up at 3am for work. It’s what I do everyday. I teach English to students in China online. ⠀ ⠀ My classes ended a half hour earlier than normal. I quickly turned the lights off and crawled back into bed. My 4 month old that I watch was not coming at 6:30 this morning due to the holiday; so I was hopeful to get the chance to sleep in till 7 this morning. ⠀ ⠀ My kids played quietly and I woke up at 8. Even though I got to sleep a little longer the bricks that often times weigh heavy on me did not want me to get up. They did not want me to feel motivated. ⠀ ⠀ I call my depression bricks because some days I feel like I’m carrying a bag full of them on me. Depression drags me down. It makes me tired, moody, and often times I feel so worthless. ⠀ ⠀ It takes everything I have inside to push myself to do things sometimes. One part of me wants to not be like this. It tells me, “Karmann you know you will feel better if you get out of the house. You know you will feel so much happier if you go exercise today.” The other part of me tells me, “Karmann who cares. Just do nothing. You know you don’t want to. Just sit at home. ⠀ ⠀ This morning I went back and forth with myself. I pushed through and put my exercise clothes on and I went to my #highfitness class. ⠀ ⠀ These women are my #exercisetribe. The women in the front row are all instructors. They each have classes throughout the week at different church buildings of ours throughout the valley. They teach for FREE!⠀ ⠀ I’m so thankful for these women. I will never be able to repay them for what they do for me. I am stronger both physically and emotionally because of their selfless service for me and other girls. ⠀ ⠀ These women help remove the heavy bricks on me every day. When I can’t make a class I feel it HARD! I’m forever thankful for them. ⠀ ⠀ One day when I’m strong enough and I have enough confidence I hope to certify as an instructor. Lol, one day. ⠀ ⠀ This journey really takes a toll on our mental health. It’s so important to do something physical even if it’s a walk around the block. ⠀ ⠀ What do you love to do to help with your heavy bricks you carry? What is your out to help you? ⠀ ⠀ ⠀

Comments

  • jonihighfitness5 months ago

    This is so beautiful, Karmann, and so are you! This is exactly #whyihigh because I need it for my “bricks,” too.

  • emilycherrera5 months ago

    You are incredible! Class isn’t the same when you aren’t there. You bring light and energy every time I see you. Love you!

  • highwithjess5 months ago

    You are my WHY! You know I love you. I’m SO SO glad you came today and I got to see your beautiful face. Day to day my friend, and we will get through this ❤️😘

  • highfitnesslv5 months ago

    This is beautiful...and truly what makes us love High so much. And I hope you do get certified! We will welcome you with open arms 💓

  • alongcamemis5 months ago

    I love this and you!!! My “bricks” keep me from going when @highfitnesssam has been inviting me for over a year! One day Soon I’ll get there. 🙏🏼❤️

  • thehighsoflife5 months ago

    All the feels over here friend. My heart if so full .... I’m grateful to have you in my life and call you a friend. Our bricks 🧱 are lighter when we are together. Sweaty and lighter. Loveee you!

  • highfitness_heather5 months ago

    Karmann, I am always so happy to see you! You bring just as much light to us as what you explained above- your woots especially bring me joy! ❤️ it was such a fun morning- love you lady 💕

  • shaylahilsabeck5 months ago

    Tsk about tear jerker! Thanks so much for coming and being a part of our little #highcommunity! I LOVE stories like this and YOU amazing women that come each week is a huge part of #whyihigh!! 💗💗

  • ctotheleste5 months ago

    Shayla and Karmann!!! Two of my very very favorite humans!! Getting high together!! 😂😂😂 Karm, good job at slaying those bricks today!! So glad you’ve found the thing that can get you out of bed on those days. You’re incredible.

  • tj.oswald5 months ago

    Love having you at every class 😘😘

  • robinashley885 months ago

    So happy I finally got to see you again. You are not alone.

  • kimwennerlind5 months ago

    Look at all of you guys!! Does this many people come all the time? That’s amazing! I’m glad you have something that makes you feel soo good!! And that these women help so many of you by teaching classes! I wish someone would do that over hear at the church!!

  • mckay_meadowlane5 months ago

    My out is friendship, I need the support of other gals when my bricks get too heavy!

  • yuya_2012_5 months ago

    Thank you for sharing ❣️I really have to start doing something about my heavy bricks too, I used to exercise at home and I was doing so much better. I’m at the point of “who cares” and lay in bed when I’m not working, my tiny studio is a mess I have to be honest and I can’t seem to clean and organize it 😞 I feel ashamed. I just cook and wash dishes to be ready for next day.

  • cofertility5 months ago

    “Bricks” is such a good way of describing it. Glad you have such a support system and glad to be part of it!

  • danigirit5 months ago

    I workout to help me with my “bricks” too. I have since I was 16- and didn’t realize why I was running so much. I think exercise does so much for me mentally. It provides structure that I require and makes me feel like I have accomplished something for the day.