29 days ago
one year ago today i took a bus from Hanover, New Hampshire back to Boston. i had just spent 100 days in a residential behavioral health program in Vermont. 100 days of regaining a will to be a living human on this planet.
it is nearly impossible for me to grasp all of the ways my life has changed in the past year, all of the motion that began during those 100 days. it's forever motion. swirly spirally motion. some days it doesn't feel like motion, some days it just feels like i'm crying in a dressing room at a Goodwill in Austin instead of crying in a dressing room at a Goodwill in Boston. my body still hurts almost all of the time. and yet.
and yet i'm also finding moments of joy. moments of relief. moments of connection. moments of love! moments of clarity. moments of acceptance. moments of inspiration.
i'm feeling grateful this evening. i'm feeling grateful for all of the people who have shown me love and kindness. the people who have taken care of me. the people who have been so, so patient with me. the people who have held me, made phone calls for me, accompanied me to the hospital, fed me, listened to me, loaned me money, loaned me a car, shared their homes with me, shared themselves with me. thank you. thank you. thank you. i love y'all 🌻
here's to some more swirls and spirals and overalls
#depression #anxiety #chronicpain #recovery #somanyselfies